so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
