Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
