I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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