My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
