My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
