my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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