i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
