do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
