Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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