I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
