so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
