Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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