? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I am mentally ready for anal.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
