does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
