Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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