I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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