people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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