He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
