dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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