And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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