Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My penis needs a shock collar
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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