is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
