But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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