he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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