so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
