i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
soo... how was my night?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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