i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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