if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
