So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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