Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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