Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
