She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
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