We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
