Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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