I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize