he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
