he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
