Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
