its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
