Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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