i just google imaged poop.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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