How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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