i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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