I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
