i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
