margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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