is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
