Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
