You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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