Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
