I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
