Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
