And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
