Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
