My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
