And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
