When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
