He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
