So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Who died my cat blue again?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
