there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
