Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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