i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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