There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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