dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
