Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
