____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
