We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
