weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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